Happy Friday!  Since it's Friday and I love Fridays I thought I'd tell you a funny story!  Here goes…

On a Sunday afternoon a few years ago, Our neighbors stopped by with a plate of the BIGGEST chocolate covered strawberries I'd ever seen.  It was love at first sight.  I couldn't wait for the neighbors to leave so I could get those babies in my mouth.  As soon as they left Dave picked up the plate opened up the garbage and said "too bad we aren't eating sugar huh", and then dumped the strawberries. (We had made a commitment to each other to not eat sugar or desserts anymore).  As I saw the strawberries in the trash, My heart sank.  I was seriously bummed. I wanted those chocolate covered strawberries. I needed them. Dog go-nit…I was going to have them. All night I thought about those chocolate covered strawberries and how much I wanted them. I knew Dave would not break his committment of no sugar or dessert so if i was going to have them, I would have to eat them alone…..and in secret!

It was bed time and we had just gotten in bed.  I leaned over and gave Dave a kiss and told him I was going to go down stairs to watch TV. I lied and said I wasn't tired. He thought it was strange (since i never do this) but was too tired to care.  Like a sneaky little child on Christmas eve I walked down stairs , quietly looking over my shoulder every other second to make sure I wasn't being followed. When I got to the kitchen I went straight for the garbage can. I opened it up and carefully pulled out the strawberries and one by one, in my mouth they went!  With my back turned to the stairs (just incase Dave decided to come down) I quickly finished them off. I piddled around a bit (pretending that I was watching TV) and then headed back to bed. 

STOP! I have to tell you something…..This story is not about  me.  It did happen just as I explained, but not to me.  (I changed the names to protect the innocent… or something like that).  This story is something my friend told me about one night at dinner. I laughed until I cried when she told this story. I loved it!  After she finished telling her story all the other girls around the table took turns spilling their similar stories! It was so fun and funny!

Since we (You and I) are all in a "good" place with ourselves or working to be in a "good" place (say it to yourself even if you don't think it.."I'm in a good place"), I thought it would be fun to share some funny stories with each other, similar to the Chocolate Covered Strawberry Story.  If we can't look back on the past and laugh at ourselves, we are too serious and need to lighten!  

I don't know about you, but some good laughs will get my Friday heading in the right direction!  Leave a comment and and make me laugh!!!

I'll go first:

One time I was on a "diet" and I didn't want Dave to know I was breaking it (as if he cared).  So I grabbed two packages of the "100 calorie mini hostess cupcakes" (that was a mouth full) and I went to the bathroom, locked the door and ate them.  When I was finished I even wrapped the wrappers in toilet paper and threw them in the garbage so he wouldn't see them! ha ha what a nerd!! Oh well..at least I can laugh about it!!

Ok…your turn.  Whethere you do, did, or don't have problems with your eating habits, I think everyone can relate in some way to the stories I've talked about! Please share any funny story you have about you and food!! Can't wait to read them!

Preparation is key!

Working full time can make it tough to eat healthy and stay on track.  In the mornings, Dave and I are usually rushing out the door with no time to gather or prepare food for the day.  Although I'd like to think that if we didn't bring our own lunch to work we'd still make healthy food choices, I don't think it's true. Besides the health factor, how about the money?  A cheap lunch for one of us would be $5. After an entire week we would have spent $50 for just lunches.  Since we get up so early every day we eat breakfast at work. If we bough our breakfast also, that would add an additional $30 a week in breakfasts! The grand total would be $80 a week for breakfasts and lunches, and thats without any snacks in between…..no thank you! 

Instead we bring our breakfast, lunch, and snacks to work. 

I used to make our lunches every night before we went to work. I really hated it! It seemed like a daily chore and I never wanted to do it.  When we moved in with my parents and had plenty of counter space to work with…I started to do things a bit different. Now, on Sunday afternoons I take about thirty minutes to an hour and I prepare our food for the entire week.  It is quite a process.  I usually start with Dave's lunches and then finish with mine.  Here are a few pictures…

Dave's Food
Breakfast: Nutrigrain Bar, Yogurt, Fruit
Snack: Protein bar and Sting Cheese
Lunch:Ham/Turkey Sandwich with cheese and Chips
Snack: Nuts and Fruit

He always wants the same thing every week. I switch up the flavor of chips, yogurts and nutrigrain bars, but other than that he eats the same thing almost everyday.  He just likes it that way!

When I finish Dave's lunches I move on to mine.  Although I do like to order the same thing over and over at certain restaurants when I'm out to eat, I don't like to eat the same things every week, over and over. I'm ok having the same lunch everyday for a week (only because it makes it easier) but I have to switch it up from week to week.  If I had the time, I'd probably prepare something different everyday of the week, but since I am preparing the food ahead of time, its much easier to plan one days worth of food, and then make four more of the exact same things!  So, for this week only, I will be eating the following:

Nat's Food
Breakfast:Special K Cereal with 1/4th banana in Vanilla Soy Milk
Snack:Green, Yellow, and Red Peppers/Cantaloupe (in fridge at time of pic)
Lunch: 1/2 Veggie Sandwhich  (tomato, lettuce, sprouts, cucumber, peppers)/Pear
Snack: Yogurt (not in the picture at work)

In conclusion…

I am all about preparation! I always feel great after I get our food together on Sundays.  I know we are both set for the entire week with foods that our mouths and bodies will love!  Preparing foods ahead of time helps us eat healthier and enjoy the foods we love without paying a fortune doing so!

How about you??

QA:
Do you prepare your food ahead or time?
Do you eat out or bring your lunch?

Yesterday I mentioned I had a exciting Idea that I was brewing up….well I DO…BUT I'm not quite ready to let the cat out of the bag just yet. 

 BUT GUESS WHAT?

I do have some other really great  news!!  Remember my post a few weeks ago about "Counting Calories". If you didn't get a chance to read it, go back and read before you continue.

I thought a lot about that post and hoped that someone would give me some sort of great idea that would help me kick this annoying unhealthy(for me) habit. At the end of the day, I took a moment to re-read the comments and read what you had to say to me.

Emily from "Home Cooked Em" wrote:

" Try mentally counting for awhile and get away from putting it down on paper. You don't want to live writing down everything for the rest of your life."

Kelly form "Every Gyms Nightmare" left a  comment saying:

"ooo that totally used to be me. What i did was start by just counting at the end of the day- don't keep track during and then try and recall everything. Usually what would happen was i couldn't remember everything i had so i knew it wasn't accurate and eventually didn't see the point anymore. I also started focusing on the quality of my food as opposed to the quantity. start trying to hit all your food groups- it will give you something a little less obsessive to pay attention to, and you know you are eating healthy so you wont get so nervous about the calorie part."

There were a few others but these ones really stuck out to me. It's true, I don't want to be counting calories and tallying everything up on paper (or in my head) for the rest of my life. I had to try somthing different.  To be honest, before I wrote that post, I really didn't know what to do and I was kinda of afraid to try. I worried I would eat too much and gain weight or not be able to listen to my body. I was a bit weary to try what Kelly and Emily had suggested, but I decided to suck it up and give it a try.

The first day I thought about adding up my calories more times than I can count, but right before I'd do the addition in my head, I remembered their suggestions and told myself NO!  It was CRAZY how many times I wanted to add and re-add stuff during the day, but my goal to make it one day gave me motivation.  At the end of the first night I was a little scared to add it all up and see what my choices would equal.  To my HUGE SURPRISE I was exactly where I wanted to be. EXACTLY. I can't tell you how good it felt. I committed to continue to do this the next day.  And so I did, and the next, and the next.  It has now been 1 weeks since I have not tallied up my calories after each time I eat them. Not in my head, and not on paper! Halle freaking lujah!!  I've decided to tallying them at the end of the day, because I want to make sure I'm on track with where I want to be. I know that with enough practice I will be confident without ever tallying them at all!! Last night I after I mentally added up my daily total I couldn't help but get really EXCITED!! I have gone one week without obsessing over calories. I have eaten the foods I love, eaten when I've wanted to eat, and have been completely satisfied. 

One other AWESOME thing I've found is when I'm  hungry I eat, and when I'm not hungry I don't eat. ha ha Sounds simple right? Not for me…I could never grasp the idea of intuitive eating. I honestly didn't know how to recognize when I was or wasn't hungry. I was so used to eating at the time I planned to eat or when I had calories left to eat. I didn't know how to listen to my body and realize when it was hungry. There were so many times in my past where I would set a daily calorie allotment and at the end of the day if I still hadn't eating all of the calories I alloted, I would go ahead and eat them right up, whether I was hungry or not. I ate them just because I had them left to eat.  There has been more than one occasions in the past week where I have been done eating and counted up my daily total only to realize that I am so much lower than I I thought….and I'm full, no more food necessary. It didn't matter that I ate less that day because I chose healthy foods and I felt great.  If I would have been counting calories after each of those meal on those days, I would have eaten more….just because I hadn't reached my limit yet!

I can't tell you how excited I am right now. I don't ever in all my life remember feeling this in control of food and eating. It's like someone fixed the connection between my mind and body that has been broken for 10 years!!
I know I'm not an expert and 1 week of success does not equate to a lifetime, but I'm finally on the right track.  A track I don't ever remember being on!

I wish I could write some inspirational post about how you or people you know with an "ED" can do the same thing. I wish I could give you step by step instructions on how not to obssess over calories. But the truth is I don't know how to explain everything that led up to today. Last night I thought a lot about when I used to limit myself to a crazy low amount of calories, or when I used to binge eat, or when I made myself sick from exercising, and all the other unhealthy things I did. …….If I could go back in time, could I have helped me? Would I have listened? I bet fifty bucks the answer is no.  I wouldn't have listened, I couldn't have changed, I wouldn't have taken any action.  BUT WHY? 

Answer: I didn't love myself. I did not love myself and I did not believe in myself, and the worst part is I didn't even know it.

-blos·som: A period or condition of maximum development-

 If we don't already, we must develop a deep, love for ourselves. Inside and out.  I believe that when we treat ourselves with love and respect a seed in our soul begins to grow. If we continue to love, nourish and respect ourselves our souls will eventually blossom.

I'm sorry to talk about this same subject over and over, but its true and I have such a strong belief in it. Strength and power lies within us. We all have it, every single one of us.
I am so thankful for YOU and everyone in my life that has helped and continues to help my soul blossom.

 Ever heard of them? I'm sure anyone who reads health/fitness or food blogs has heard all about them.  5 months ago when I started really reading these types of blogs I had no idea what these disgusting looking drinks were all about.  One of my favorite blogs "oh she glows", introduced me to the "green monster".  She was always talking about these drinks and posting pictures. She actually started a blog dedicated to green monsters. It's called "the green monster movement" . After reading all about these babies and viewing hundreds of pictures, I decided it was time to try one. I decided to make my first green monster. I waited until a weekend when I had plenty of time to make it just right. I planned ahead and bought all the ingredients I needed and then I went to town. 

Nat's Fav GM Recipe (very basic)
2 cups organic spinach
1/2 cup vanilla soy milk
1 scoop ESA vanilla protein powder
5 ice cubes
1/2 banana

Preparation

Finished Product

(this one is not as dark green as usual because I wanted to make sure I had enough spinach for this mornings GM)

Yum in my tum

What can I say? I LOVE THEM.  The first time I tried it, I was blown away by how delicious it was. I wouldn't believe me either if I hadn't tried one for myself, but its so true! Ever since the morning of my first green monster I have had a green monster almost every day since. Not only are they DELCIOUS but they are so good for you.  Even Dave the vegetable hater of America loves them.  I told my sister about the green monsters a few weekends ago and how Dave loves them and she said…I thought Dave doesn't eat spinach, to which my reply was…HE DOESN'T!! Unless it is in a green monster of course!  If you are looking for different recipes, check out The Green Monster Movement where Angela and her readers have posted a ton of great recipes! If you haven't already make your first Green Monster and let me know what you think, or if you are already a green monster fan, what is your favorite recipe?

I have always counted calories. I can tell you how many calories are in any food you can think of (as long as i've heard of it).  I've memorized the serving and portion sizes on every food label and am well aware of the calories in hundreds of dishes at hundreds of restaurants. I am familiar with every calorie counting site that's out there and have compared food between all the sites. I never intended to memorize how many calories were in everything, but after obsessing over it for so long, it just happened. I became my own calorie directory.

Anytime I ate anything I would either write down exactly what I had eaten portion size and all or I'd leave a running total in my head, which would eventually get written down, I have notebook after note book tracking my daily intake. It wasn't odd to find sticky notes around the house with random numbers that would eventually be added into the daily total.  Every bite, every sip, every crunch…I counted.  Oh the insanity. Oh the burden. Oh the responsiblity.  It was a chore. I've counted calories for so long that I don't know how to not count them.

Over the past 10 months I  have tried to stop counting calories and measure or count every single thing I put in my mouth and I have gotten so much better. But still almost everyday I end up calculating calories. Sometimes its at the end of the day or sometimes its in the middle. I'll leave a running total in my head or jot it on a piece of paper…its not that I'm trying to stay below a certain number of calories like I have done in the past. I think it has something to do with me worrying I might be eating too much or even too little, or maybe I just don't remember how to eat without counting.

I'm not quite sure how to kick this habit, and I'd love any ideas, suggestions, or personal triumphs.  I try to eat when my body is hungry and choose foods that are healthy and nutritious, but I've still not been able to let go of the counting completely.  It is no longer an obsession but a small reminder or my past and something i'd like to eliminate completely.  I know that many of you have been in similar situations and have found success, or maybe you have never even counted calories and are "normal" eater…either way I'd love some suggestions and a helping hand.

Here are a few questions:

Do you count calories?
(if yes, is it an obsession or is it helpful and positive)
 (if no, have you ever in the past and was it a positive experience )

If you don't count calories how do you keep track of what you eaten on a daily basis?

Have you or are you currently losing weight without counting calories?

What do you think about calorie counting?

In my old life I used to sneak peanut butter.  A spoon full here or there when no one was looking and sometimes much more than that. Who was I hiding from you ask?? Myself. Thats right..my natzi self. Eating peanut butter was something I considered cheating and sinful. It felt like I was breaking a rule that stated peanut butter was the devil and when I partooke I would be damned to hell….or at least it left me feeling that way afterwards.  As quilty as I felt, and as much punishment as I put myself through after eating it, i'd always end up eating it again.  I remember watching my sister eat  peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast. She had no worry or guilt and was definitely not sneaking it.  The peanut butter sandwich was not her guilty pleasure but instead her breakfast of choice. She would always follow it up with a big glass of milk, and as I watched her I envied her guiltless conscience.  Why couldn't I dig in to the peanut butter jar and feel no guilt?  The answer is simple.  I WAS CRAZY.  ok just kidding…not crazy, but seriously confused.  Lets take a look at the nutrional value of Peanut butter:

 Check out this article about healthy benefits of boiled peanuts…aka peanut butter.

So here are the facts: 190 calories for 2 tbs of Peanut Butter.  16 grams of fat. 8 grams of Protein. 3 grams of sugar. Eating 190 of my precious calories on Peanut Butter seemed INSANE.  It's easy to understand my logic when you realize I was restricting my diet to 1000 calories or less (most times less). In my world after a couple spoon fulls of peanut butter you have eaten more than half of your allotted calories for the day.  I believe this is why I labeled Peanut Butter as a "bad" food.

When I began my journey to a healthy life there were so many things I had to change.  I've taken it step by step and conquered one thing at a time.  Changing the way I think about food… "good" food and "bad" food was one of those changes.  I did a lot of  reading, thinking, and talking with friends and family. I began to better understand how to have a normal relationship with food.  NO FOOD IS BAD FOOD.  Fat free mayo is not "good" and Regular mayo "bad"… low calorie bread is not "good" and regular bread "bad"….neither one is "good" or "bad".  Eating, although pleasurable is really about fueling our body's.  Making healthy moderate food choices can help fuel our body's and give us the energy we need to live healthy lives.  I have learned that moderation is the key.  Through trial and error, prayers, motivational talks from my husband and through a lot of determination, I actually feel in control with my food choices and am proud of my progress. 

Just for fun… Here are a few things related to my food choices and thoughts that a year ago I would have never thought I could do….(without feeling guilt)

• If I want regular mayo on my sandwich then dog gonitt i'm going to have it. 
• If I decide that I like regular bread instead of diet calorie bread because it taste better and has more nutrients I'm going to have it. 
• If I want a cookie or a piece of cake i'm going to eat it.
• And last but certainly not least….If I want to eat peanut butter everyday then I will and I'll feel great about it.

That guilt that I used to feel is gone.  I realized that peanut butter is not "bad" for me when eaten in moderation.  Although I could easily help my self to the entire jar, a spoon full or two each day is perfectly fine. Infact, since I have changed my behaviors and let myself eat the things I enjoy (which also include a plethora of healthy and nutritional foods) I have actually lost weight.  Although losing weight is not my goal, it happened.  Slowly my body has started to accepted the changes I have made and is loving my new healthy choices. It appreciates the extra protein it gets, and the rich nutrients it receives through eating yummy fruits and veggies. It loves the carbs I give it that allow it to fuel through a hard workout among other things.  Ironic as it may be, eating a healthy moderate diet has not only benefited my mind and spirit but my waist line!  Who knew!  (everyone but me obviously!?)

Through this process I have had many triumphs both small and large.  Last night as I read my emails with a spoon of peanut butter in hand, I realized that I felt no guilt eating it . None what so ever. Guilelessly eating peanut butter is a huge triumph for me. In conculstion….I am a peanut butter lover who loves peanut butter and I'm proud of it! Woo HOO!