Blossom
Yesterday I mentioned I had a exciting Idea that I was brewing up….well I DO…BUT I'm not quite ready to let the cat out of the bag just yet.
BUT GUESS WHAT?
I do have some other really great news!! Remember my post a few weeks ago about "Counting Calories". If you didn't get a chance to read it, go back and read before you continue.
I thought a lot about that post and hoped that someone would give me some sort of great idea that would help me kick this annoying unhealthy(for me) habit. At the end of the day, I took a moment to re-read the comments and read what you had to say to me.
Emily from "Home Cooked Em" wrote:
" Try mentally counting for awhile and get away from putting it down on paper. You don't want to live writing down everything for the rest of your life."
Kelly form "Every Gyms Nightmare" left a comment saying:
"ooo that totally used to be me. What i did was start by just counting at the end of the day- don't keep track during and then try and recall everything. Usually what would happen was i couldn't remember everything i had so i knew it wasn't accurate and eventually didn't see the point anymore. I also started focusing on the quality of my food as opposed to the quantity. start trying to hit all your food groups- it will give you something a little less obsessive to pay attention to, and you know you are eating healthy so you wont get so nervous about the calorie part."
There were a few others but these ones really stuck out to me. It's true, I don't want to be counting calories and tallying everything up on paper (or in my head) for the rest of my life. I had to try somthing different. To be honest, before I wrote that post, I really didn't know what to do and I was kinda of afraid to try. I worried I would eat too much and gain weight or not be able to listen to my body. I was a bit weary to try what Kelly and Emily had suggested, but I decided to suck it up and give it a try.
The first day I thought about adding up my calories more times than I can count, but right before I'd do the addition in my head, I remembered their suggestions and told myself NO! It was CRAZY how many times I wanted to add and re-add stuff during the day, but my goal to make it one day gave me motivation. At the end of the first night I was a little scared to add it all up and see what my choices would equal. To my HUGE SURPRISE I was exactly where I wanted to be. EXACTLY. I can't tell you how good it felt. I committed to continue to do this the next day. And so I did, and the next, and the next. It has now been 1 weeks since I have not tallied up my calories after each time I eat them. Not in my head, and not on paper! Halle freaking lujah!! I've decided to tallying them at the end of the day, because I want to make sure I'm on track with where I want to be. I know that with enough practice I will be confident without ever tallying them at all!! Last night I after I mentally added up my daily total I couldn't help but get really EXCITED!! I have gone one week without obsessing over calories. I have eaten the foods I love, eaten when I've wanted to eat, and have been completely satisfied.
One other AWESOME thing I've found is when I'm hungry I eat, and when I'm not hungry I don't eat. ha ha Sounds simple right? Not for me…I could never grasp the idea of intuitive eating. I honestly didn't know how to recognize when I was or wasn't hungry. I was so used to eating at the time I planned to eat or when I had calories left to eat. I didn't know how to listen to my body and realize when it was hungry. There were so many times in my past where I would set a daily calorie allotment and at the end of the day if I still hadn't eating all of the calories I alloted, I would go ahead and eat them right up, whether I was hungry or not. I ate them just because I had them left to eat. There has been more than one occasions in the past week where I have been done eating and counted up my daily total only to realize that I am so much lower than I I thought….and I'm full, no more food necessary. It didn't matter that I ate less that day because I chose healthy foods and I felt great. If I would have been counting calories after each of those meal on those days, I would have eaten more….just because I hadn't reached my limit yet!
I can't tell you how excited I am right now. I don't ever in all my life remember feeling this in control of food and eating. It's like someone fixed the connection between my mind and body that has been broken for 10 years!!
I know I'm not an expert and 1 week of success does not equate to a lifetime, but I'm finally on the right track. A track I don't ever remember being on!
I wish I could write some inspirational post about how you or people you know with an "ED" can do the same thing. I wish I could give you step by step instructions on how not to obssess over calories. But the truth is I don't know how to explain everything that led up to today. Last night I thought a lot about when I used to limit myself to a crazy low amount of calories, or when I used to binge eat, or when I made myself sick from exercising, and all the other unhealthy things I did. …….If I could go back in time, could I have helped me? Would I have listened? I bet fifty bucks the answer is no. I wouldn't have listened, I couldn't have changed, I wouldn't have taken any action. BUT WHY?
Answer: I didn't love myself. I did not love myself and I did not believe in myself, and the worst part is I didn't even know it.
-blos·som: A period or condition of maximum development-
If we don't already, we must develop a deep, love for ourselves. Inside and out. I believe that when we treat ourselves with love and respect a seed in our soul begins to grow. If we continue to love, nourish and respect ourselves our souls will eventually blossom.
I'm sorry to talk about this same subject over and over, but its true and I have such a strong belief in it. Strength and power lies within us. We all have it, every single one of us.
I am so thankful for YOU and everyone in my life that has helped and continues to help my soul blossom.
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Cindy on 2009.10.01
Intuitive eating is AMAZING.
Alison at Mama's Weeds turned me on to it and I have never looked back.
I just quit the whole scale and calorie counting thing COLD TURKEY (I was even on SparkPeople too) and it took a few frantic weeks…
a few melt downs but now
NOW I feel so in control
I have lost a few pounds …but that's not my focus. HEALTH is…and If I lose my 10 "vanity" pounds I will be so happy. If not I will be so happy too.
I love how I just didn't gain a million lbs overnight like my scared inner voice thought I would HA
(hence the cheerleader outfit)
even my new clothes that I just bougth are loose.
I try and use how I feel and how my clothes fit to be my guide because all the rest is not very accurate.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!
xo
(ps…I'll NEVER go back to the diet mentality…and as soon as I am tempted to think about "cutting back"or a "diet" I just remind my self that my body needs FUEL…and to not let my body think I am gonna starve it.
and I feel better.
Cindy´s last blog ..Good Bye Sweet September
Natalie on 2009.10.01
Cindy..
You are awesome!! thanks so much! I totally agree with you! Thanks for the encouragement and for sharing your story! It affirms everything I believe!!!
kay (eating machine) on 2009.10.01
yay! it's awesome when you make that connection… and there are lots of people who don't get why it's so exciting to eat in a "normal" way… but it's great!
i've added up every now and then how many calories i've eaten… and I discovered that I eat the exact amount that someone of my height/weight/activity level needs… I just wish i'd known how smart my body was when I was fighting it for so long!
kay (eating machine)´s last blog ..Not the prettiest…
Erin on 2009.10.01
Nat! This is great I am so happy for you. I can't even believe this is you writing! Or I guess I should say, I do believe it, I knew you could do it when you finally wanted to. I am so proud of you and I am happy to learn from you and try to put it into my life as well. It is hard to kick something that is just part of what you have been doing for years…you are so strong now.
I have been sick this week, but when do you want to start the "shred?" After you do crossfit?
Karyn on 2009.10.01
congrats on mastering intuitive eating! that's such an accomplishment given the culture we live in
i love reading your posts because they are "real" not preachy or anything. i can feel how excited you are to keep blossoming
Karyn´s last blog ..Tempo and Turtle Hearts
Evan Thomas on 2009.10.01
Congrats! It sounds like you're just where you want to be. It some ways it is like taking a trust fall but in the end your body will catch you.
Courtney on 2009.10.01
Congrats on your breakthrough! It sounds like you are really making strides to get to where you want to be. I look forward to continuing to watch you blossom!!!!
Courtney
Adventures in Tri-ing
Courtney´s last blog ..Spaghetti Squash and a Spooky Start to October!
AnnQ on 2009.10.01
Great Website! I've gone through the EXACT same issues you have over the years, and you're right about intuitive eating being the best…it's amazing what we can learn when we pay attention to our bodies and what they're telling us.
I also love that you've done Crossfit — it's SO hard! I remember watching people doing Burpees and thinking, "big deal – I can do those!". Man, was I in for a rude awakening, especially when they were paired with two other exercises, all performed over and over until all sets were done!
Jordan on 2009.10.01
I am all over this post and am excited for you! It seems like such an easy concept right…eating when hungry? But so many things just have to line up for you and you alone to really know when the time is right and how to open up communication with your body.
This really spoke to me…"If I could go back in time, could I have helped me? Would I have listened? I bet fifty bucks the answer is no. I wouldn't have listened, I couldn't have changed, I wouldn't have taken any action. BUT WHY?"
I tricked myself into thinking it was all good. It's amazing what we can talk ourselves in and out of. But when that moment hits and it just IS…that's the sweetest.
So glad I got to read this!
Low on 2009.10.01
I'm so glad you found something that works for you and that you're starting to listen to your body more. That is awesome!
Low´s last blog ..Budget!
Kelly Turner on 2009.10.01
oh good- im so glad i could help. People who dont need to count calories but still do are usually doing it as a way to ease their anxiety over food in general, which is scary to break. but you did it because you trusted yourself! thats huge! good for you!
Jessica @ How Sweet It Is on 2009.10.01
Great job!
Jessica @ How Sweet It Is´s last blog ..Roasted Garlic Gorgonzola Smashed Potatoes.
Megan @ Megzz Wins At Life on 2009.10.01
Great post!!! You really are such an amazing girl!
Megan @ Megzz Wins At Life´s last blog ..mm mmm stonyfield
Natalie on 2009.10.01
You guys are all so incredibly sweet! I can not tell you how much I appreciate all your kind words and support!! xoxoxox!! natalie
Hil on 2009.10.01
I'm so happy for you! Learning to eat intuitively is really hard, and a step forward on that front is definitely cause for celebration.
Hil´s last blog ..Black-eyed Peas and Birthdays
Lauren on 2009.10.01
I know this is so difficult once you get into the habit. I used to do this too, but I have recently just decided that you can not live like that. I still keep some sort of track in my head, but I try to just fill my body with healthy nutritious food and work out almost everyday. You will learn to just balance it over time. You just have to focus on staying healthy and not focus too much on each calorie you consume. It is so hard and if you get the answer let me know! lol
Lauren´s last blog ..Columbia Crest Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon 2006
Mara @ What's For Dinner? on 2009.10.01
How awesome for you!! Unfortunately i'm at the point where if I stop counting something (calories, points, protein/carb units) I gain weight back. I'm in the process of re-losing about 10 lbs…then I have 50 more to go! I wish I could stop…
Mara @ What's For Dinner?´s last blog ..Todai Today
Taylor@Joy of Food on 2009.10.01
Thanks for the lovely comment and for reading my blog.
Taylor@Joy of Food´s last blog ..Day of Delicious Dining
Natalie on 2009.10.01
I understand just what you're saying. I have been there. I realize that for some people they need to count calories to stay on track and hit their goal. I think it is a good way to keep track, as long as you are not obsessing, or taking part in any negative behavior!
keep it up mara…you will get exactly where you want to be i just know it!!
VeggieGirl on 2009.10.01
Amen – here's to self-acceptance.
VeggieGirl´s last blog ..Produce? Nuts? Grains? Deliciousness? Check!
Nicole on 2009.10.01
Natalie! What a beautiful blog you have! I love what you said in this post and it's so true! I, myself, still have trouble with letting of calorie counting and intuitive eating but I'm learning as I go along. That's what life is for, right? Thank you for visiting my blog and for enlightening me with yours! You are truly beautiful inside and out and I can't wait to see your full blossom!
Nicole´s last blog ..Hoard the Gourd
Julia on 2009.10.01
I'm so glad you did realise those things, because they are true! I even wrote about this (sort of) in my last post…balance and listening to your body is the key:)
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Betty on 2009.10.01
U r awesome! Thank you so much for the motivation. This is exactly what i'm trying to do.
Betty´s last blog ..FALSE alarm
sophia on 2009.10.01
This is one of the BEST post I've ever READ!!!! OH MY GOODNESS I am SO happy for you! You have HIT the bull's eye in dieting…there IS no dieting! Just LISTEN to your body…When God made us, He gave our body enough intuition as to not "starve" or "overfeed" ourselves…it is when we start to think too much and analyze and try to control our eating that we run into trouble. I'm SO happy happy happy for you!
Diana on 2009.10.01
What an inspiring post!
I've been doing exactly what Kelly said. Count at the end of the day and sometimes I just forget things and other times I just don't count at all!
I'm really really glad for you
Calorie counting was never a big problem for me though, I don't obsess over it, it's just a way to make sure I'm doing the right choices, I don't plan my whole life around my remaining calories as I know a lot of people do.
I'm glad you've found something that works for you, that's what matters.
Diana´s last blog ..Today was such a good day.
Sister Jacky on 2009.10.01
Yay for you! I have really been trying to eat healthier and "Fuel" my body instead of feed it. I really think about trying to fuel instead of feed a lot more and I swear I am less hungry and I eat better foods! And I feel so good when I have made good choices! Your blog rocks! I seriously think about something in it at least once a day! It is an awesome motivation! Good job sister!
Morgan on 2009.10.01
I'm really enjoying your blog. You have such a great attitude!
homecookedem on 2009.10.01
Aw, I could cry right now because I am so happy for you!!!!! I know exactly what you're feeling right now and how freeing it is!!
See, you're stronger than you knew you were!! It's no secret that I still mentally count weight watcher points mentally, but I am no longer confining myself to eat a certain amount each day. If I go over for the day, so be it. I'm so proud of you for taking that step to let go of obsessively counting calories. So much happiness is in store for you and I couldn't be more excited for you!! Awesome news!!!! 
homecookedem´s last blog ..Guest Post: Andrew’s LARABAR Review
Madeline on 2009.10.01
What an AMAZING feeling! I used to do the same thing (there are endless envelopes and scraps of paper with massive addition problems on them out there because of me) and the moment you find that you can live your life without the never ending math problem in your mind you just feel so free! Congratulations!
Madeline´s last blog ..rocktober!
Erin on 2009.10.01
Girl. You are making amazing strides, holy hell!! I'm mondo proud of you and your efforst to reclaim your life.
Joelle (The Pancake Girl) on 2009.10.01
Thanks so much for checking out my blog! Btw, I really like that blossom concept.. we are always changing and evolving into more of who we are.
Shannon on 2009.10.02
I struggle with intuitive eating, but that is definitely my goal and I am getting closer and closer. It is silly to think to myself "I'm full but I'm going to eat more just because I have more calories alloted for the day." It is tough not to count when those numbers are so automatic in your head. You're doing a great job.
Shannon´s last blog ..Check, check, check…
Tina on 2009.10.03
I can relate to so many of the things you just wrote about. Growing up, weight was always on my mind and last year I began to lose weight. I began obsessing about how many calories I ate at every meal, and would not let myself go over 1200. I know that's not as extreme as 700, but a growing girl definitely needs more than 1200, especially on workout days! One day, I just decided I was SICK of calorie counting and to see if I could go without. I'm happy to say I haven't done it since then (besides the odd estimation but rarely) and I feel so much more in control now than I did then. I can't wait to read your blog more and thank you for reading mine!
AsiaJo on 2009.11.05
Congrats! Great site! And very best of luck with everything you do – cheers!