"A man is but the product of his thoughts.
What he thinks, he becomes."
Mahatma Gandhi

I've been wanting to write about this subject for as long as I can remember! I have slowly added to this post and am finally ready to share it! This topic is so important to me and something that has changed me and my life. 

"The Power of Positive Thinking"

I've mentioned in previous posts that I used to be kinda negative. If you knew "the old me", I don't think you would have labeled me as a negative person. (I think Dramatic would be a better adjective). I did not go around proclaiming the glass to be half empty. The negativity that I am talking about was in my head. I was guilty of inviting negative thoughts in, and giving them a place to stay. In fact I think I was a negative thought shelter for all the homeless negative thoughts that needed a home.  To be honest I didn't really know I was even harvesting these  thoughts. When I started to realize what I was doing, I didn't know how to change or how important it was to do so.  I didn't think my inner dialouge was interfering with my life or the people in it. They were my thoughts, no one else had to hear them. When I look back, I realize I was so wrong. Whether anyone heard my negativity or not, It was effecting me and in turn effecting the people I love the most.  

When I had my "ah ha moment" and realized that I needed to make some serious changes, I didn't know where to start. Where had it all come from? Why was I so obsessed about my weight and being skinny? Why did I feel so uncomfortable with my body?  Why was I mopey inside and why did I feel bad about myself?  Why did everything seem like such a big deal?

I now know the answer, but in that moment I had no clue.  Luckily I had someone who cared enough about me to help me see what I didn't want or know how to see.

He (Dave) gave me a suggestion one day that at the time I thought was ridiculous. He said "Lie".  'Lie to yourself'. Tell yourself things that you don't believe are true and the more you do it, the more you'll believe it.  

My response…..What? What is that even supposed to mean? You want me to lie to myself? (Ya that's gonna work).

'Anytime you have a negative thought, immediately push it out and then tell yourself the exact opposite…even if it is a 'lie, sometimes white lies are ok'.

Example:  AHH…My butt looks so big in these jeans…. The "lie"… These jeans are so cute, I look so cute in them, my butt looks great in these jeans.'

Even if I didn't believe what I was saying I was to say it, no questions asked.  He also suggested that on top of disputing my negative thoughts, I should also go out of my way to tell myself things that I didn't think were true.

My response….What? What is that even supposed to mean? You want me to tell myself things I don't think are true? Like what?

'It is so fun to exercise and eat healthy'. 'I can do anything I put my mind to'. 'I can do it'. 'Junk food makes me feel gross.'

Reluctant as I was to do what was suggested, I decided I had nothing to lose.  I went at it and started to lie build myself up on a daily basis. I eliminated negative thoughts by replacing them with the positive ones.  It felt weird at first. I found myself rolling my eyes at myself and the whole idea.  Despite my reluctance, I still tried. I started telling myself things like:

'I love exercising'
'It's so much fun to eat healthy'
'I am so strong'
'I'm so proud of myself'
'I can do anything'
'I love sweating'
'You look so cute today'

I didn't say these things once and a while. I said them all the time.  I even started to tell my family these things to make it seem more real. I replaced these thoughts/compliments (and many more) where my negative and 'Fat Talk', used to be. After consciously practicing these techniques, I started to notice a change.  The negative thoughts that led to my negative behavior were no longer there. I found myself  thinking and doing the positive things I was constantly telling myself. After time, the things I told myself actually became a real. Not only was I telling myself these things, I believed them because I was thinking and doing them. I  was no longer lying to myself. WHAT! This was crazy. I could not believe how quickly things changed from there. I FINALLY realized that I was in control and that every single thing I thought directly effected the things I did. I had been my own worst enemy and didn't even know it.  I started to be my biggest supporter. Me my own supporter? Positive and negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies!
 
I am now a different person. I am in control of my life. I chose how I will feel each day. And everyday I chose to feel GREAT, no matter what is going on.  Please know that I'm not perfect at this. I still have negative thoughts, but I WILL NOT entertain them . I refuse. I spent too much time letting those stupid thoughts rule how I felt. Now, I'm in charge.

We, YOU AND I are in COMPLETE control of what we think and how we feel.  We don't have to be stressed, we don't have to be sad, we don't have to be negative. We can wake up each day and chose to be happy (even if we are going through trials or hardship).

What we seek determines what we think. What we think determines what we do. And what we do determines who we will become.
-Dieter F. Uchtorf

I want to shout out on the roof tops what I have learned and how much it has changed my life. Not just regarding my self image and confidence, but in all aspects. Having a bad day, facing hardship, feeling sick, being patient, loving my husband, being a better friend, caring for others…. it has made my entire life better.  There are plenty of things in life that we have no control over and can't change. Bettering ourself is not one of those things.  We are in charge of making the change. We are the one's who decide what we will seek, think, do and who we will become.

When we're aware of the way we think, we can take action to use positive situations to our advantage, and re-shape the negative ones. We can think positively, regardless of what is going on, and make a conscious effort to see things in life as opportunities instead of obstacles.

We are magnets attracting all things to us. The signal we emit through our thoughts and feelings will either bring us happiness or sorrow. 

What "signal" are you emitting? 

I challenge all of you to take a step back and think about your inner dialogue or "signal". What is it saying?  What message are you giving yourself and others? Are your seeking the positive in life?  Do you seek the positive? Do your thoughts lead to positive behavior?

  I read a book while I was in Romania five years ago and pulled it out again six months ago and gave it another read.  It's called "As A Man Thinketh". It is inexpensive, super short (60 or so pages) and will change your life if you practice its principals. It is a perfect way to help you understand just how much power you have!  Here is a short review:

“As you think, you shall become.”

"The theme of all of Allen’s works is that each one of us has the power to form our own character and to create our own happiness.  The conditions of our lives are closely related to our inner state.  Allen encourages his readers to think positive thoughts, which will inevitably lead them to take positive actions."

I challenge all of you to purchase the book.  The book is only $4.99 on Amazon.com and a bit cheaper if you buy it used, this book also has free shipping! After you read it, I promise you will thank yourself. You are worth the $5 that you will spend on this book, no matter where you are in your life, this book will benefit you and help you realize just how powerful you are! If you're interested, you can buy the book here: As A Man Thinketh

 I also wanted to share a worksheet I found online the other day. I think it's GREAT! The worksheet helps you to observe your "stream of consciousness".  It is a very helpful exercise that helps you let go of negative thoughts and replace them with rational positive thoughts. I challenge you to give it a try. CLICK HERE to down load the FREE worksheet.

Here is an example of how to use the worksheet. It really is a great exercise and can help even the most positive person create even more positive energy in their life. Give it a try, even if only for a day.

I'd like to end this post by asking you a few questions:

-When your husband/boyfriend/sister/mother (someone close to you) asks you how your day was….what is your response?

-When you look in the mirror….what do you say to yourself?

-When you have a bad day at work…..do you let it go when you walk through the door at home?

-When something upsets you….how long does it take for you to calm down or blow it off?

-How often do you think positively?

-Is the glass half full or half empty?

-Are you emotionally strong?

-What are you thinking about yourself right this very minute?

-Do you focus on the negative or positive?

-Do you love yourself?

-Do you love your body no matter what shape or size?

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  If you are not already practicing positive thinking, now is the time to make the change. You have the power within yourself.  No one can do it for you.  You are the change.

Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills:—
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass.
-James Allen

 Please email me with any questions!!
nono2yoyo@gmail.com

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most fattest of them all?

FLASHBACK

About a year ago Dave and I decided to spend an afternoon at the mall. I needed a new pair of jeans so we headed to the jean place first. I wanted to find a cheap pair because I "was not planning on staying at that size for long".  We both entered the store with smiles on our faces, I was happy to get a new pair of jeans, and Dave was happy that I was happy.  There were so many options to chose from, I hoped I'd find what I was looking for.  I grabbed a few pairs and Dave grabbed a few pairs and we headed back to the dressing room.  He waited out side while I stood in front of the mirror and undressed. I immediately rolled my eyes at myself and thought something negative. I tried on the first pair….and it didn't fit. They were too tight. I came out with a frown on my face . Dave was on eggshells as he awaited my response (he had been through this before). He waited for me to comment and after my response he sat still with a smile on his face afraid to say the wrong thing. I went back into the dressing room with a little bit of hope. I still had quite a few pairs to try on so I wasn't out of luck…yet.  I tried them on one by one, and one by one, I found something about my body that looked bad in the jeans. My butt looks big, my waist is  fat, my thighs are too big…on and on. Each time I looked in the mirror I would get more frustrated and more upset with myself. The more I tried on, the more upset I got. The negative thoughts flowed abundantly. After I tried on my final pair I had had it. I closed the dressing room door and started crying,I was really upset. Upset with the mirror, mad at the person looking in it, annoyed at the jeans, disgusted with my body, and some how bugged by my husband. Why my husband?? I honestly don't , my best guess is I needed someone to take it out on? I wiped away my tears, and changed into my old jeans. Red eyed and empty handed, we left the store.

Dave tried to cheer me up and tell me it was alright. He laughed and joked and tried to make me feel better. I didn't work. The rest of the afternoon was ruined (by me of course).  I was too upset to have fun. I felt fat, ugly, disgusting..did i mention fat?? I repeated these thoughts over and over in my mind. I believed them.  I didn't want to shop. I didn't want to do anything. My attitude was no fun, not to mention no good. Not for me and not for Dave.  We went home and I honestly can't remember what happened after that.

FLASH FORWARD

Last weekend I wanted a new pair of jeans.  Friday night Dave and I headed to the mall.  I had forgotten all about the incident above until we walked into the same jean store.  We picked out several pairs just as we had done 10 months before and I headed back to the dressing room. When I walked into the dressing room I looked in the mirror and admired my cute outfit.  I even threw myself a mental compliment. I tried on the first pair and they were skin tight.  I came out of the dressing room and showed them off to Dave prancing around the back area of the store being a nerd.  We laughed and both agreed that they were way too tight. I didn't care. I went back into the dressing room and looked into the mirror and before changing out of those skin tight skinny jeans I threw myself another compliment… "my calf's look great in these" (ya they were that tight). I took them off and tried on the next pair.  The next pair fit better than the last but still did not fit quite right. I showed Dave and he pointed out the area that didn't look right and I agreed. It didn't bother me. I went back into the dressing room to take them off and while doing so I looked in the mirror again.  A big smile came across my face as I remembered that day ten short months ago. I remembered how I felt and now how I feel. I remembered how I acted and now how I act. I remembered mentally beating myself up and now how I intentionally build myself up.  I remembered how I focused on only the negative and now how I only focus on the positive. This time when I looked in the mirror I saw a different person looking back. I saw someone strong, confident and happy.  After buying a super cute pair of jeans, Dave and I with smiles on our both faces walked out of the store and enjoyed the rest of the evening.   

Yesterday you may have read the email I sent Catlin, it was my experience with my first Operation Beautiful note.  
Here it is:

"I started out on my journey to healthy living a little over 10 months ago.  When I started trying to change I didn’t believe in myself, didn’t think I could do it, and it was ALL ABOUT the ". When I decided to make a change in my life and kick everything negative and unhealthy, I really tried to focus on positive thinking and telling myself things that I didn’t at first think were true.  

As time went on some of those things started to become easier and easier to say. I found your blog through Angela’s and then I found Operation Beautiful. I thought Operation Beautiful was such a great idea, and I knew from what I had been doing the few months before, that this would only add to my progress and help me truly believe in myself. Women are so hard on themselves and do not give themselves the credit they deserve!  

After posting my first Operation Beautiful note, I felt amazing. I felt strong and I believed what it had said. I knew that I was beautiful and that I did deserve to believe it, and anyone who read what I had wrote should feel the same way about themselves. It was me and only me who had been holding myself back all this time. I was my own worst enemy and I didn’t even know it.  

After I finally believed in myself, my life changed in every single way.  Operation Beautiful was a stepping stone for me and something I’ll always remember!" 

Girlies….this is so true. I can personally testify to this. You have to believe in yourself to make positive life changes. We should all believe, love, and respect ourselves. Although my story may be extreme, when compared with yours, I know every woman can relate on some level.

It is up to you. It is up to me.  It is up to all of us. WE must take the initiative. WE must grab a hold of ourselves and decide to take control. It all starts with YOU. There are millions of women out there who don't believe in themselves. Millions of women who are way too hard on themselves and have a negative self image. I want more than anything to take these women by the hand and tell them how beautiful they are, tel them they are worth it.
YOU ARE WORTH IT.

I challenge YOU, whether you are a positive Polly, a negative Nelly or an iggy in-between …Take a moment to think about your inner dialogue.  What message are you sending yourself? Your inner dialogue truly effects you who you are and who you will become. 

At the risk of you all thinking I'm a  complete nerd….I want you to say the following with me as you read.  
"I am worth it".  Did you say it?  Try again, this time out loud….ready on 3??1, 2, 3……  
"I AM WORTH IT"! " I AM WORTH IT"!!
It's true. You are worth it!  

Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all….YOU ARE and its about time you believe it!! xoxoxoxo

Leave a comment and tell me one thing you love about yourself!!