Funny story, I brought some egg whites with me today to warm up in the microwave for part of my breakfast. I had them in a small tupperware container that I planned on popping in the microwave for a few minutes.  Like I mentioned, I moved to a new building at work and am surrounded by all new people. I asked a lady if I could use her microwave since the community one is not up and running yet.  Before I could put the whites in the microwave she and another woman stopped me and were in awe of what I was doing with my egg whites.  They had never seen microwaved eggs/egg whites.  WHAT? I can't be the only one who does this right?? They proceeded to ask me how it worked and what they would be/look/taste/feel like when I took them out.

After answering their questions with a mini MICROWAVE EGG 101 course,we sat and talked about nutrition and dieting in gernarl.  One of the Lady's told me about a diet her hair dresser was doing where she only ate 500 calories a day for three months along with a daily shot…EEK!!.  The other lady joined in and talked about how someone here at work tried it and lost a ton of weight. I immediatelysaid..of course she did…500 calories a day, anyone could lose weight if they STARVE THEMSELFS! They tried to help me see why it was a healthy diet and how it worked….I would not have it.

I talked to them about my past struggles with diet, exercise and limiting my food. They became very interested. They proceeded to ask me a million questions about diet, exercise, eating healthy, what I did then and what I do now. I told them about my past and how unhealthy I was and talked with them about what how my entire life has changed because of it.  They proceeded to asked questions about splenda, soda, lifting weights, cardio, calories, on and on.  It was crazy to hear all of their thoughts on nutrition and health and what they thought was healthy. I can't tell you how off base they were with some of their thinking and ideas. I honestly don't think they knew any better, it was crazy! I felt like Wikipedia because I shared so much info that they had never heard of before. After the conversation as I walked back to my desk I heard one of them say to the other, I'm going to go buy some egg whites and try them out…the other said, ya me too! I walked away from that conversation feel grateful forhow far I've come and where I'm at today. I felt thankful for the things I know and the way I live my life. I immediately came back to my desk and started writing this post.

The other day I found an old journal. It was a food-calorie/feeling  journal. I sat down and read a few pages and my right away my eyes welled up with tears. I felt so sad for my old self and my thought processes. I just didn't get it. I was so off base from where I needed to be, yet so wrapped up in what I thought was ok. How could I ever have thought that way? My words portrayed someone that felt trapped and hopeless. It was obvious I believed I would never be able to over come "the battle".

While I was driving to work today, I was thinking about blogging and my blog topics and posts when I first started this blog 4 months ago. Most of them talked about struggles, feelings, and my quest for a healthy life. I began to think about my past and the problems I used to run into on a daily basis. As I thought about it, I realized that those problems and"demons" are gone.  They no longer exist. I tried to think about any negative behavior in regards to food or exercise or negative self image and guys I just don't have them any more.  I no longer count calories, I not longer stress about food, I no longer exercise to burn calories and punish myself for eating bad, I no longer put myself down.  Please believe that I am not saying this to honk my horn…I'm saying it in hopes that others may know it is possible. I never believed I could change. I never thought I would over come YO YO dieting. I never thought I'd have a healthy normal relationship with food. Never say never.

I watched the Biggest Loser last night and listened to the contestants from 11 weeks ago give their future healthy self advice.I got chills when I heard their plea with their future self.  They wanted more than anything to change, to be healthy and overcome their struggles. They reminded themselves of how trapped they felt and how important it was to overcome their battle. You could tell they had the strength within themselves, but just didn't know how to find it. Watching them cross the finish line after running a marathon was unbelievable. Although I have never been overweight or battled with their same issues. I've had my own, and watching them cross that finish line summed up my feelings perfectly.

I know it is possible to overcome our battles. No matter what are battles are, ED, weight, finances, religion, family, anything. If we are positive and fight the fight pushing forward with faith, we will overcome our battles and we will eventually cross the finish line. Don't give up, and don't you dare back down. 
 
Press on with happiness in your heart, positivity in your mind, and a belief that you can achieve WHATEVER you put you mind to. The solution to your problem lies in you!

CRAP…my egg whites are cold!

FYI: This post is long, but worth the time it will take to read it!

Have any of you ever seen "The Beautiful Truth"? I was browsing net flix yesterday while bored and work and came across it and decided to watch it. I had never heard of it before nor did I know what it was really about. It was incredible. YOU MUST WATCH IT.  I actually felt really upset after watching it and realized that I KNOW NOTHING about what I am putting in my mouth.  I truly know nothing. It really bugged me. I researched a bunch of stuff after I watched it and thought about it for the rest of the day and night. 

The movie shows the quest for truth of a 15 year boy who read a book by Dr. Max Gerson that shows the link between diet and cancer.

"Gearson believed that cancer cannot occur unless the functions of the liver, the pancreas, and the immune system as well as other body functions have degenerated. Cancer, in his theory, results from faulty metabolism due to poor nutrition and long-term exposure to pesticides, chemical fertilizers, air and water pollution, and other irritants that increasingly saturate the environment."

The documentary touches on many topics.  Poor nutrition, exposure to pesticides, fertilizers, water pollution and many others. It is CRAZY to hear about the incredibly harmful effects of fluoride (after years of being told how good it is). It is crazy to learn about mercury posioning and how harmful certain fillings in our teeth are. I also ACTUALLY learn what MSG is and realize that it is in ALMOST EVERYTHING I EAT. I also realized I had no idea what it is.

 MSG, or Monosodium Glutamate is a salt of the amino acid – Glutamic Acid (glutamate).  A salt is the chemical name for a molecule held together by opposite charges.   Basically one (mono) sodium atom is "stuck" to the amino acid glutamate.

 MSG along with aspartame has a huge impact on brain cancer. Either. If you watch his movie it will shock you and make you take a step back and look at your life and the foods you are eating, or it will confirm your worst suspicions/knowledge. Even if you are skeptical, I guarantee you will want to find out more on your own after watching.

I've obviously know/knew that processed foods are not good for you and I try to eat them in moderation. But what I learned from this movie is that they aren't just unhealthy or not good for you, but they are actually toxic, unhealthy and harmful! This may be obvious to many of you, but for me….I never thought of it that way. I just thought about it in terms of healthy= good nutritional value. I never thought of it as healthy=good for your health, prevent disease and harm and unhealthy=bad for your health, cause harm, poison your body, filled it with toxins. 

After work I went home and started looking through all the labels in our pantry.  Almost everything in there contained Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) in its Free Glutamate form. I learned that MSG is hidden in foods in several different forms.  The food industry can make free glutamic acid by hydrolyzing vegetable protein or by fermentation of glucose from starchy foods.  In short MSG manufacturers can not only free bound glutamic acid from foods, but create it chemically.  Take a look at this scientific paper  on the fermentation formation of MSG to learn more.

Different forms of Free Glutamic in Food:

Glutamate
Glutamic Acid
Gelatin
Hydrolyzed Veg Protein
Hydrolyzed Plant Protein
Autolyzed Plan Protein
Sodium Caseinate
Calcium Caseinate
Textured Protein
Yeast Extract
Yeast food of nutrient
Autolyzed Yeast

MSG can effect our thought process, our memory and our speech. (Alzheimer's) It is also strongly connected to the growth of cancer. 

Did you also know that the increased amounts of Glutamate can cause ADHD, ASTHMA, ATRIAL FIBRILLATION, AUTISUM(especially in children), DEPRESSION, TYPE 1 & 2 DIABETIES, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, HEAT STROKE, MIGRANES, OBESIT.

Did you know that the amounts of Glutamate in food can play a role (or be the whole role) in the development of Autism in our children?

"There are certain people who are more seceptial for certain diseases due to their genetic's but if you think you are immune from the effects of MSG because you don't have the autism genes, or the Alzheimer's genes, or high blood pressure, note that free glutamic acid acts on the pancreas to secrete insulin and acts to stimulate hunger by targeting the amygdala and hypothalamus and creates valium-like GABA in otherwise HEALTHY people".

Please check out The Truth about MSG. This site is run and operated by Carol Hoernlein who has a degree in food science and (Bio-Resource) Engineering.

"She used to work directly with aspartame in the food industry. She worked in research and development at major global companies including American Home Products, Reckitt and Colman, Thomas J. Lipton, and M&M/Mars.  She quit due to a crisis of conscience when she discovered just how harmful food additives could be."

FACT
Did you know that doctors tell cancer patients to stay away from MSG because it has been proven that when they eat foods high in glutamate their cancer will grow and spread very rapidly!

Knowing this why/how in the world should we feel safe eating it? WE SHOULDN'T!! Maybe you don't already. Maybe you only eat all natural and whole foods and if so GOOD FOR YOU! Me on the other hand, I try to eat healthy and do eat a lot of whole natural foods, but I also am eating SO MANY FOODS that I thought were "healthy" that are incredibly UNHEALTHY and actually harmful to my body.

When I stop and think about the things I eat that aren't fruits or veggies…ALMOST everything I eat is harmful.  That is scary to me. 

CONFESSION
 I'm a loser because I thought MSG was on in Chinese food? lol! Really, I had no idea what MSG was until yesterday.  I thought Chinese restaurants put it in their food to make it taste better! I was talking to both my parents about this last night and told them that I thought MSG was just in Chinese food, and they kinda thought the same thing!

I also talked to my sister about this last night and she told me that this Gerson Therapy sounded like something a girl that lives close to my parents who had terminal cancer tried. The doctors told this girl she had little time left and would not be cured, she would surely die.  She went to a facility in Mexico (As soon as my sister said that I started freaking out…This is THE treatment center AS IN THIS MOVIE) She participated in the treatment and is now CURED!  This floored me. Before hearing this story I completely felt the movie shed light on so much truth but actually "knowing" someone who has experienced this BLOWS MY MIND.  The documentary interviews TONS of cured patients that talk about their stories, but to hear this so close to home, someone my family knows personally…this is CRAZY/AWESOME!

When talking with Dave last night he told me about an email his mom sent him about starving cancer. I wish I had the email to read. It talked about starving the cancer your body has by feeding it natural health improving food.  By depriving the cancer of "unhealthy" foods you are starving it and not allowing it to grow. (This goes along with Gerson's theory!) SO INTERESTING….RIGHT??

The video suggests that the only way to avoid the toxins and "unhealthy" things in food is to eat Organic, whole foods.

I'm sorry if I'm the last one to jump on the bandwagon and realize this stuff. I'm sorry if this is common knowledge to most of you. I"m sorry for being an idiot! HA lol…that is what I feel like at least. The food industry has done its job. It has tricked me and led me to believe something that is far from true. 

Last weekend I started to watch "Food Inc" which got me thinking similar thoughts.  I didn't finish the movie because I wanted Dave to watch it with me. I was so interested and intrigued that I had to wait for him to finish it. I wanted him to physically see, hear and understand what is going on with our food.  I am going to make him watch both "Food Inc" and "The Beautiful Truth".  These two shows are so informative and so in-lighting.  I hope you watch both of them.

CONCERN
The question now is what do I(we) do with this new info and semi understanding of something so important? I know so little and have so much to learn…where do I start?

Take a look at whatever you are eating at this moment….does your food contain any of the ingredients listed above?  Is your food natural and organic?  If so… WAY TO GO!! I can't answer a complete YES to that question this morning.

Yesterday,I ate a granola bar, yogurt and apple for breakfast.  Progresso soup for lunch with some crackers and a cup of rice pudding. For dinner I had Rice with grilled chicken and chickpeas and for dessert a piece of toast with PB and Jelly.  And a few other snacks in between. EVERY SINGLE THING I ate yesterday except the apple, chicken, and chickpeas were actually "unhealthy" for my body. UNHEALTHY.  I would normally look at yesterday and thought I ate "healthy" because I didn't eat any junk. 

I don't know about you, but this overwhelms me because honestly, I do not know how to change my entire diet.  Also there are some things I love so much and feel sad about thinking of giving up….are their replacements for these foods…will I really even miss them? Can I actually change everything that drastically?

MISSION
The more I think about it the more I realize that I can not just up and change EVERYTHING, not all at once, and not quickly.  I have to take it one step at a time.  I have to eliminate one thing at a time. I have to learn one thing at a time. I have to learn about food, new food, new ways to cook, new ideas, one step at a time. ONE STEP AT A TIME.  I have to learn more. I want to learn more. I need to read more. I need to understand more, one step at time. ONE STEP AT A TIME (i'm writing that twice to remind myself) Honestly, I don't know how else to do it.

Yesterday I realized that I have A LOT to learn.  My eyes and ears have been opened and I realize that I have not been listening or seeing so many things. I think it was because of my lack of understanding. I never understood why people chose to eat organic. (I actually thought it was "the in thing" and that is why people did it).  It's time I figure this stuff out, and figure it out for myself.  It is so important to me that I learn to eat to keep my body healthy and fight off disease so that when we have children I can lead by example and help them get started off on the right foot.  I want them to understand and know what I do not understand and do not know. I'm on a mission.  A slow, take it one day at a time mission. None the less…I'm on a mission.

QUESTIONS
I know many of you eat all natural, organic whole foods everyday, every meal all of the time.  Many of you are Vegan. Many of you understand what I don't. 

-Please share any suggested reads/information or ideas on how I can slowly change "our" (Dave and I both) diet to eliminate everything "unhealthy" please share.

-Those of you who are vegan…how long have you been vegan, why did you decide to become vegan and how did you make the change?

Please SHARE YOUR THOUHTS about this post and your current diet.

Reference Sites:
www.msgtruth.com
www.gerson.org
www.thebeautifultruthmovie.com

Yesterday I mentioned I had a exciting Idea that I was brewing up….well I DO…BUT I'm not quite ready to let the cat out of the bag just yet. 

 BUT GUESS WHAT?

I do have some other really great  news!!  Remember my post a few weeks ago about "Counting Calories". If you didn't get a chance to read it, go back and read before you continue.

I thought a lot about that post and hoped that someone would give me some sort of great idea that would help me kick this annoying unhealthy(for me) habit. At the end of the day, I took a moment to re-read the comments and read what you had to say to me.

Emily from "Home Cooked Em" wrote:

" Try mentally counting for awhile and get away from putting it down on paper. You don't want to live writing down everything for the rest of your life."

Kelly form "Every Gyms Nightmare" left a  comment saying:

"ooo that totally used to be me. What i did was start by just counting at the end of the day- don't keep track during and then try and recall everything. Usually what would happen was i couldn't remember everything i had so i knew it wasn't accurate and eventually didn't see the point anymore. I also started focusing on the quality of my food as opposed to the quantity. start trying to hit all your food groups- it will give you something a little less obsessive to pay attention to, and you know you are eating healthy so you wont get so nervous about the calorie part."

There were a few others but these ones really stuck out to me. It's true, I don't want to be counting calories and tallying everything up on paper (or in my head) for the rest of my life. I had to try somthing different.  To be honest, before I wrote that post, I really didn't know what to do and I was kinda of afraid to try. I worried I would eat too much and gain weight or not be able to listen to my body. I was a bit weary to try what Kelly and Emily had suggested, but I decided to suck it up and give it a try.

The first day I thought about adding up my calories more times than I can count, but right before I'd do the addition in my head, I remembered their suggestions and told myself NO!  It was CRAZY how many times I wanted to add and re-add stuff during the day, but my goal to make it one day gave me motivation.  At the end of the first night I was a little scared to add it all up and see what my choices would equal.  To my HUGE SURPRISE I was exactly where I wanted to be. EXACTLY. I can't tell you how good it felt. I committed to continue to do this the next day.  And so I did, and the next, and the next.  It has now been 1 weeks since I have not tallied up my calories after each time I eat them. Not in my head, and not on paper! Halle freaking lujah!!  I've decided to tallying them at the end of the day, because I want to make sure I'm on track with where I want to be. I know that with enough practice I will be confident without ever tallying them at all!! Last night I after I mentally added up my daily total I couldn't help but get really EXCITED!! I have gone one week without obsessing over calories. I have eaten the foods I love, eaten when I've wanted to eat, and have been completely satisfied. 

One other AWESOME thing I've found is when I'm  hungry I eat, and when I'm not hungry I don't eat. ha ha Sounds simple right? Not for me…I could never grasp the idea of intuitive eating. I honestly didn't know how to recognize when I was or wasn't hungry. I was so used to eating at the time I planned to eat or when I had calories left to eat. I didn't know how to listen to my body and realize when it was hungry. There were so many times in my past where I would set a daily calorie allotment and at the end of the day if I still hadn't eating all of the calories I alloted, I would go ahead and eat them right up, whether I was hungry or not. I ate them just because I had them left to eat.  There has been more than one occasions in the past week where I have been done eating and counted up my daily total only to realize that I am so much lower than I I thought….and I'm full, no more food necessary. It didn't matter that I ate less that day because I chose healthy foods and I felt great.  If I would have been counting calories after each of those meal on those days, I would have eaten more….just because I hadn't reached my limit yet!

I can't tell you how excited I am right now. I don't ever in all my life remember feeling this in control of food and eating. It's like someone fixed the connection between my mind and body that has been broken for 10 years!!
I know I'm not an expert and 1 week of success does not equate to a lifetime, but I'm finally on the right track.  A track I don't ever remember being on!

I wish I could write some inspirational post about how you or people you know with an "ED" can do the same thing. I wish I could give you step by step instructions on how not to obssess over calories. But the truth is I don't know how to explain everything that led up to today. Last night I thought a lot about when I used to limit myself to a crazy low amount of calories, or when I used to binge eat, or when I made myself sick from exercising, and all the other unhealthy things I did. …….If I could go back in time, could I have helped me? Would I have listened? I bet fifty bucks the answer is no.  I wouldn't have listened, I couldn't have changed, I wouldn't have taken any action.  BUT WHY? 

Answer: I didn't love myself. I did not love myself and I did not believe in myself, and the worst part is I didn't even know it.

-blos·som: A period or condition of maximum development-

 If we don't already, we must develop a deep, love for ourselves. Inside and out.  I believe that when we treat ourselves with love and respect a seed in our soul begins to grow. If we continue to love, nourish and respect ourselves our souls will eventually blossom.

I'm sorry to talk about this same subject over and over, but its true and I have such a strong belief in it. Strength and power lies within us. We all have it, every single one of us.
I am so thankful for YOU and everyone in my life that has helped and continues to help my soul blossom.

EEEKKKKK!!!! CrossFit day 5. Yesterdays work out was brutal! It was harder than any of the days by far! I know I keep saying this but its true, we were dying.

When we got home we both felt like we could curl up in bed and go to sleep forever. We were so tired! I felt like i'd worked out for hours on end.  I made us a protein packed dinner (Spaghetti with grillers meat and garlic toast over 40 grams protein) we ate it faster than you can imagine. It was like my body was a vacuum, I inhaled that pasta. My body must have really needed some nourishment!  We crashed and watched some TV and I fell asleep on the couch.  Ok, so here's what we cranked out:

• 25 Sumo Dead Lifts High Pulls
  (Nat: 35lbs set 1 20lbs 2 & 3 /Dave: 70lbs)
• 30 Second Sprint
  (Nat: 8.5/ Dave: 12)
• 25 Kettle Bell Swings
• 25 Fast Jump Ropes
• 25 Renegade Rows
  (Nat: 7.5 /Dave: 17.5)
• 25 Broad JumpsRepeat 3 times

Does that sound hard? I didn't sound like it was going to be too tough, but it surprised really me! Guess what? I know its only been six days since we started this Crossfit challenge, but I am already noticing a difference in my body. Seriously!? Its only been 6 days!

PS: I still have not gotten any good advice on how to strengthen my core for running. Can't anyone help?? PRETTY PLEASE!!

QA:
Are you hungry after a hard workout?
What is your go to fuel food?

 Ever heard of them? I'm sure anyone who reads health/fitness or food blogs has heard all about them.  5 months ago when I started really reading these types of blogs I had no idea what these disgusting looking drinks were all about.  One of my favorite blogs "oh she glows", introduced me to the "green monster".  She was always talking about these drinks and posting pictures. She actually started a blog dedicated to green monsters. It's called "the green monster movement" . After reading all about these babies and viewing hundreds of pictures, I decided it was time to try one. I decided to make my first green monster. I waited until a weekend when I had plenty of time to make it just right. I planned ahead and bought all the ingredients I needed and then I went to town. 

Nat's Fav GM Recipe (very basic)
2 cups organic spinach
1/2 cup vanilla soy milk
1 scoop ESA vanilla protein powder
5 ice cubes
1/2 banana

Preparation

Finished Product

(this one is not as dark green as usual because I wanted to make sure I had enough spinach for this mornings GM)

Yum in my tum

What can I say? I LOVE THEM.  The first time I tried it, I was blown away by how delicious it was. I wouldn't believe me either if I hadn't tried one for myself, but its so true! Ever since the morning of my first green monster I have had a green monster almost every day since. Not only are they DELCIOUS but they are so good for you.  Even Dave the vegetable hater of America loves them.  I told my sister about the green monsters a few weekends ago and how Dave loves them and she said…I thought Dave doesn't eat spinach, to which my reply was…HE DOESN'T!! Unless it is in a green monster of course!  If you are looking for different recipes, check out The Green Monster Movement where Angela and her readers have posted a ton of great recipes! If you haven't already make your first Green Monster and let me know what you think, or if you are already a green monster fan, what is your favorite recipe?